I keep constructing fantasies in my head from pictures with perfect lighting.

If I see sunlight streaming through a window, my heart soars with unbelievable joy and I can’t help but imagine sharing it with somebody I really, truly care about because that moment as the sun rises is one of unmatchable hope and wonder. The mother of all new beginnings.

If I see a barn, I imagine driving around all night looking at the stars in the night sky and watching them get brighter and brighter while sitting in the back of an old pickup truck with a woven old blanket that smells like woodsmoke and the family dog and grass and finally, the mixture of two people’s scents mingling into one. When we get cold, we run to the barn and there’s already a mattress there with more blankets and we sleep with the window open in the loft so we can see the stars and hear the nighttime settling into the landscape.

If I see light filtering over a steaming coffee cup, I imagine waking up with someone lying still asleep, right next to me. Their warmth cradles my back and I sneak down to the house to fix two cups of coffee and bring them back. When I return, they’re awake and smiling and we take our coffee out to a hill covered with dew and play with the steam that’s running in silly shapes and blow on it to create new ones.